An IHOP story
by Quig Alchemist
Summary: Scar travels to IHOP, where a kidnapping is taking place. The restaurant owners are mysterious as it is, but somehow Ed and the Colonel get dragged into this whole mess!


An IHOP Story

Scar trotted towards the glowing building, illuminated by a neon display. Red and blue lights showed the sign for IHOP. To him, it was the Ishballen House of Pancakes. His eyes grew wide, as he smelled the syrupy goodness of pancakes.

"Pancakes…hmm…" He grinned as the door tinkled when he passed through it.

"Welcome to IHOP sir!" Said a cheerful woman with long black hair. She had her little hat that said 'IHOP', and she had slightly purple, gleaming eyes. "Table for one?"

"Pancakes…"

"Sir?" she questioned. "Smoking, or non?"

"Me want…pancakes…" Scar was almost drooling on the floor.

"Follow me." She said shortly. Scar followed her to his table, eyes goggling all the way.

"Pancakes…" He murmured again.

"What do you mean, you can't find those Ishballens! Shouted Roy Mustang into his phone. "If I don't find them soon, I'll have to cancel my date this Friday!"

"Oh, what a shame…" Muttered Havoc from the corner of the room. Roy slammed down the phone down, and pouted at his desk. The door creaked open, and Ed slowly peered around the corner.

"Uh, Colonel?" he wondered.

"Yes Elric, what is it?" Mustang said, sounding rather bored.

"Well, I couldn't help but over hear your 'pleasant' conversation, and thought I might solve your problem." He mused, grinning to himself.

"Unless you have Scar, and all the other Ishballens, hiding inside your tin can of a brother, you better quit while you're ahead."

"No, no, Colonel!" Ed said all too sweetly. "All of the Ishballens think the place to be is IHOP."

"What! The International House of Pancakes? What crap is this FullMetal?" Yelled Roy alarmingly loud, as he rose from his desk.

"Once again Colonel, you're wrong." Ed said winking. "It's the Ishballen House of Pancakes! Didn't you know that is the ONE place they religiously go?"

"Enjoy sir!" said a brunette woman, with eyes that sparkled like stars. Scar didn't wait a second, and dove into the syrupy mess the waitress had set before him. There were also two child-like figures also eating a few tables away.

"Honey, don't eat so fast. You'll make yourself sick." The brunette waitress said to one of the children.

"Yes mom." One of them said quickly. The other child, who was a bit fatter, kept eating anyway.

"Take me to the manager!" Shouted Roy, as he flung the door open, almost off its hinges. Ed popped his head in the door behind him, smiling bigger, and slightly more mischievously.

"Sorry sir, our manager is not available at the moment." Said the black haired woman. "But, you can follow me to the kitchen, where you can wait for him to return." She began to walk off, but before she did, she turned to nod at Edward. Roy was going to ask Ed if he knew the hostess, but he was no longer there. Instead, there was a man with long spidery hair.

"What happened to Elric?" Stammered Roy.

"He already left." Replied the man, who was also wearing the IHOP uniform. "Please, follow me." He said, and ushered Roy to the back of the restaurant.

"I'm sorry Mr. FullMetal sir, currently, Colonel Mustang has departed on an important mission." Replied the receptionist to Edward, who was looking rather flustered.

"I have got to speak to that idiot!" Ed said angrily, while slamming his fist down on the receptionist's desk.

"Oh! Edward, you're back already? Did your mission go well?" Questioned Lt. Hawkeye, as she walked up to the desk.

"What are you talking about? I haven't seen Mustang all day!" Replied Ed, confused.

"The Colonel said that he was going to IHOP to investigate some Ishballen reportings. You left with him, did you not?" she Questioned.

"Envy." Ed muttered under his breath, and sprinted out the door. The receptionist and the Lt. Were left standing in confusion.

"Waiter! I need more syrup!" Shouted Scar across IHOP. The place was practically empty, and yet the employees were all busy in the back. He decided to just sit, and wait.

"Mustang! Where are you? Colonel!" yelled Ed, as he coasted through the doors, once again, almost pulling them off their hinges. There was no one there to greet him, and the only person in sight was Scar.

"Hey FullMetal, want some pancakes? Said Scar, as if he was drunk on syrup. "Even you wretched State Alchemists can have some of this goodness…" His voice trailed off, as he began licking his plate. _Wow…that's attractive._ Thought Ed in disgust.

"No, you hobo. I'm looking for the Flame Alchemist. Have you seen him lately?" Asked Edward.

"Yeah, yeah. They drug him back there, ya know, the employees who are SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING ME SYRUP!" Scar ended his sentence in shouts. But Ed wasn't listening, and he was already running towards the kitchen.

"How could he fall for that?" Wondered Ed, as he shoved the swinging door to the kitchen open. He saw the Homunculi, big and small, inside the confines of the kitchen. Mustang, on the other hand, was tie to a stick, slowly being turned and roasted on a spit like a pig. He was bound and gagged, and Gluttony grinned as he turned the stick round and round.

Ed had stood still for long, staring, that the swinging door came back, and hit him the face. He fell flat on his back, and Roy, even in his desperate situation, couldn't help but giggle.

As Ed stood back up he said, "Why is that I always run into you guys?" He strolled into the kitchen, seeing Greed with a chef hat and apron. He also had a wooden spoon, and a silver pot in his hands.

Ed was obviously outmatched, and was quick to join Roy on the turning stick over the fire. The two spun round and round, with nothing they could do about it.

Scar sat at the table, in front of a mound of empty dishes, and pouted, while he waited for his syrup. He was just about to get up, when a man with an eye patch appeared next to the table.

"Finally!" Rejoiced Scar. "I thought I would never get my syrup!" He reached his hands out in anticipation. When the syrup didn't come, he guessed this guy was the manager, and he slumped back down in his seat. "Your dumb workers are slacking off their job! I've been waiting for syrup for thirty minutes!"

"Patience." He said quietly, and walked towards the kitchen. Scar was passed being ticked off.

"Hi guys!" said Pride cheerfully, as he strolled in through the kitchen door. "I see our bait worked well, and we caught ourselves a couple of mice." Ed and Roy struggled against their bonds.

As Roy and Ed slowly cooked, Ed was thinking, _this is the suckiest way to die! _Then, the kitchen doors were blown open with a red alchemical glow. Everyone swiveled his or her head around to see the angry Scar.

"Where the h is my d syrup!" He shouted, and began blowing up stuff. Debris flew everywhere, and struck many of the Homunculi. Pot, pans, and other random cooking utensils cluttered the room.

Amongst all the destruction, the Homunculi were knocked out, and Roy and Ed were freed. The two decided not to mention the ordeal again, on account they were both embarrassed about being captured. They both crawled away on their knees, leaving the scene quietly.

Scar ended up saving the day, and it wasn't to help anyone but himself. He knocked the bad guys unconscious, and helped the good guys escape. But in the end, all Scar could say was, "I still didn't get my syrup…"

The End 


End file.
